Eulogy, Foology, Whoohoohoology and Mamoulogy

One of the giants of modern science, Albert Hofmann, 102, died yesterday in Switzerland. Herr Hofmann, of course, is best known as the father of LSD, which he discovered in 1938 and used for several subsequent decades, in a clinical way, not a recreational way. He believed throughout his life that LSD should not be banned, and should be used in clinical trials of its intended use in the treatment of schizophrenia. He also bore the lifelong shame caused by his son, Abbie, who admittedly was under the influence of 'daddy's magic elixir' when he was conked on the head with Pete Townsend's guitar at Woodstock.

I don't know about you, but, I, for one, am proud to be an inhabitant of a universe which contains an object called a Lyman Alpha blob. That the largest object in the known universe is called a blob inspires within me a feeling bordering on euphoria. If the Great Triad ever includes the concept of heaven, the Big Mamou will certainly reside in a Lyman Alpha Blob.

In other scientific news, researchers have succeeded in suspending 'nothing', also called a 'squeezed vacuum', in a puff of gas. When light is passed through the 'nothing', all that remains is the 'uncertainty' of the light. This is also referred to as 'entangled light'. It is therefore decided that the ultimate goal of adherents of The Great Triad is to attain 'entangled enlightenment'. Aside: It would have been quicker, I think, when searching for nothing suspended in a puff of gas, to have just x-rayed the skull of our current president.

Which leads me to the point. It seems to me that Georgie Jr, who claims the highlight of his presidency was the hooking of a large bass on his ranch in Texas, and who has clearly partaken of several 'banned' substances, should drop a few hits of sunshine from time to time. In fact, it should be a requirement for all presidents, and those candidates who aspire to be. I mean, I tend to look at life simply, and I see most 'solutions' in simplistic terms. I don't know exactly how many Americans have died in Iraq, but I am aware that a large percentage of those deaths can be attributed to suicide. It should be clear to even the most right wing jingo that the reasons our soldiers are killing themselves is because they are fighting for no reason with no end in sight. Neither B.O., Queen H, King John or the Shrub are going to do anything to change that. Since I hold out no hope that any of them will reach 'entangled enlightenment', maybe a few psychedelic visions might lead them to a better path.

Look, lest you think I am just another blind liberal, let me assure you that I understand that the easiest way to ignore the race problem is to send them off to be killed in a foreign land. And I understand that 18 is the best time of your life, whether you're shooting or being shot at. And I understand that you can't be in a position of power without losing sight of the common man and his problems, so maybe it's just time to simplify. Let's just stop killing period.