Saturday, March 14, 2009


Here. She and I sit here and wonder pacific. It was not a hard climb, easier than the first, yet still filled with trepidation. I am afraid of my fall from grace. She stands here like a terran clitoris, rigid with heat long lost, a black memory of her once volcanic orgasm; unresponsive to the massage of scrambling hand and foot. Only the swirl of spray and foam offer a sign of dormant glow. It is the first time in four days that we left the house; left the comfort of blanket and scarf, belt and tie; left the trust of blindfold and candle and ice; left the delight of filled, vacant crave. Holy secrets have been revealed and shared, dancing within us, without us, whirled to ecstatic frenzy in the rhythm of hinted music and noisy smiles. There is quiet here, the quiet of goddess whispers interspersed with violent prayer and purge. The sun, nearly fallen, warms her soft curve, out beyond the edge where storms conspire; where pink, cloudy light fades to dark, favorite, twilight violet blue. It is here that god finds me, reveals to eyes closed wide.

(She is as real as real can be...allowing me...wrapping all that I all that I can all that I want to be.....climbing volcanic spires oceanside...dancing free on the beach to music she hears in a light that outshines everything...she binds me...she frees me...she loves me, LOVES me, LOVES grander ways than I ever imagined....

I am expanding....exploding...overflowing...dissolving. I am full of grace...full of faith...filled with god...I am god)

Here. The sun sits just above the horizon, yet it still warms the wind, the rain, the sea, the earth. Her light flows out, outracing time and space, and touches all of it. Her light flows out, in directions unfathomed. It is there for all to feel. Her music flows out. We can all hear it, carried on wind and tide. She dances open, feet and arms and hair and smile flailing to her primal beat, to the symphony that she recieves in the swirl. And I, not quite as receptive, hear the same music. Sharps and flats, augmenting and suspending, flying past G-clefs on ethereal staffs, funneled through her totality to my yearning ears. And again, her light, fading to the dark of blue, reflects back to me on the lunar ascent. Her light, ablaze and darkened, cascades through long locked treasure chests, rusted locks springing open, rubies and emeralds and doubloons floating on the neap and ebb, filling my deepest pockets. As we slide down moistened crag and crevice, bruised and cut by the rough of it, joyed and pained in the salted sand and air, I lead her through the dunes, lead her on the path home, lit within.

(She is as real as real can be...and her light...her music...dancing me to skinless. She is purely here...just as the sky..the earth...the sea...the sun and moon...the spirits are here....clearly visible...visibly clear...if you just close your eyes. She is so close...close enough to touch. Reach out...reach in...and she will let you find her.

And I...I am god is your witness)

Here. I stand and watch as tidal surge meets ancient rock, sea crashes and towers into sprays of foam riding unseen thermals to heaven. And she calls me to come chase the fresh water rills dancing to salt through the sandy fronds and terrestrial capillaries; like the to and from of earthen heart bringing red and blue to the brackish womb, filled with kelp torn free and anchored starfish; everything where it belongs. And I stop, and know, that as sure as the earth spins, and circles the the sun circles the milky center, as the center caroms toward Andromeda at speeds driven in mystery....I know that this spot...this time...this moment...this grander than I, yet not as grand yet...and that ever, existing in this instant, is never long enough, never too long...just perfectly and fleetingly caressed. And as I turn to find her, i see her dancing, eyes closed, ecstatically elated..her smile casting moonbeams and pixie dust to everything...her light washing it all...bigger than ocean and sky. There can be no other way. There can be no other shore. She is my ocean...filling you and me with the light and music of right now, right here...watching the dog star rise, zooming to the Pleiades.

(She is as real as real can be....she is the siren...the sybil...drawing me in...singing to me...kissing my sleeping eyelids to see. And I...I reveal the god that I have always been...the god she has seen...the god that she has tumbled from Olympus...and set on this shore.

I release she sets me free...and we wait, in the warmth of the setting sun, in the reflection of the rising moon, for you to join us...The three wait...she...I....the unity...for you to accept the invitation.)