Tuesday, April 22, 2008


In the timeline of humanity's brief existence in the cosmos, sometime between the discovery of the vagina as an implement for good or evil and the adoption of the Kabballah by Madonna and the rest of the faded glitterati, nothing has interrupted the journey on the path to pure nothingness as much as the forbidden subjects of workplace lavatory conversation--sex, religion and politics. Luckily, in this day and age, the three are intertwined like an anaconda mating ball.

First case in point: Hillary "Rodman" Clinton. Ever since the great Cohiba incident, two things have become remakably clear. One, that the former first lady forgot to provide Bill with his first beaner, and two, she has the bigger set of balls.

While I pay little attention to politics, it seems to me that we have been provided no indication as to Ms. Clinton's religious leanings. While I'm sure she has used the overly uttered 'god bless america' on several occasions, and I'm certain she's cried out "oh god" during some ecstatic sexual frenzy, religion does not seem to hold much sway with the future president.

If she had followed the righteous path to nothingness, she might have found her true calling, instead of fighting for her political life with a man who few of us had ever heard of three years ago.

Second case in point: Tom Cruise. Tommy provides the penultimate example of why celebrities should stick with their lives of quiet stupidity, and stop proselytizing to the general masses. I am certain that there are americans who listen to Tommy regarding politics, and even his recommendations for creating the perfect marriage, but why would anyone want to listen to him spew vomit regarding the 'church' of scientology, perhaps the only religion on earth more inane than my own. For god's sake, he even convinced John Travolta. 'Stupid is as stupid does'. Let me see. If I had more money than the vatican (although no popemobile), worked maybe 3 months a year, was pumping a nubile nymphet on a regular basis, would I look for truth in some specious religion founded by some hack science fiction writer. Tommy, just shut up and enjoy your life. America's envy will be even greater.

Third case in point: Demi Moore. She highly recommends completely shaving your body, bathing in turpentine, and letting leeches purify your blood. This is only slightly less stupid than believing a pop singing strumpet can find enlightenment through bastardized jewish mysticism. 'Nuff said.

In light of the rampant decline in human intelligience, the Great Triad has adopted a Darrell Scott song as it's main hymn.

"..................sometimes you go where the river isn't flowing,
look where you are, just call it a life.

Last night I dreamed I had a message for the masses.
A message for the masses that would set them free.
I shook my tambourine and stood on a soapbox.
Stood on a soapbox and said "Be like me".

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