Monday, June 27, 2011


I awoke this morning. It was not the sun shining in my room. It was not the sound of birds singing, or squirrels chattering. It was not my lover's gentle stroke. No earthquake, no volcanic eruption, no tornadic winds. No, it was lawnmowers. And while I awoke rested and happy, I was possessed of an almost homicidal urge to rid the world of landscapers. And I asked myself..."where have we awakened to?"

There is no doubt that many of us have reached an epiphanic turn on the evolutionary path. The pyrate believes we sit on the cusp of a global awakening; nurtured by the mother spirit guide. The nun...well, she already evolved past my imaginings; evolved without a pretending bone in her body. Yet when I opened the Boston Globe to last Monday's editorial page, I was slapped in the kisser by a piece proclaiming that by losing touch with the equinox...the rhythms of sun and moon...we have lost touch with where we belong. Think perhaps it's time to go live with the Kombai.

Anyway, the point is that even a pseudo-liberal (albeit staunchly conservative on the grand spectrum) publication like the willing to concede that we made a wrong turn, and are, in essence fucked up, and lost. Up the proverbial creek...not only without a paddle...but without water either. For our creeks and rivers are only fed by Dasani now, and regulated by the most deluded agency of all, the Army Corps of Engineers (Hello, Minot).

The creator made a huge mistake giving us the desire to learn and explore all the things we cannot understand, while omitting a crucial amino bond on the holy double helix. I think he simply forgot a sequence on the DNA ladder which might have allowed us to remember what we know at birth; that we are simply creatures gifted this beautiful planet, whether by grand design, or serendipity. The universal humility gene. Yeah, that's what's missing.

So here we sit...unaware that technology (especially the zero turn lawnmower) is killing us; separating us from the very blood of life...the gifts of nature. Our failure is the result of a fairly simple equation, and stems from out haughty belief that we know what better is. We have created this illusion that we call perception; we constantly seek to refine our knowledge of how this universe works, and as we specialize more and more, we come to believe that we are the masters. We are not. We are simply a piece of a grand puzzle...the piece of the jigsaw which fits as it was designed...its cocks and cunts dropped in the proper place. When we try to alter our shape...change our appendages and cavities...we make it impossible for all the other pieces to lay where they belong. We corrupt the synchronicity of life by trying to improve it. If you don't believe me, check the side effects of the medications you're taking, and look and see how many 'primitive' peoples are free of cancer and heart disease. Go outside and look at your SUV, and ask yourself if bigger is really better. In fact, ask yourself if easier is really better. Ask yourself why drug companies have invested so heavily in the rain forests. It is simply so they can profit from what the earth has already given us. Yes the natural world can kill us, but it can also save us, if we can begin to view it as a gift, rather than a source of profit. And try to understand, as the light of day only begins to fade at 8:30 or 9:00, in the wake of the summer solstice...that the earth works this way so that she may provide us with what we need to thrive. She gives it. We aren't supposed to steal it, or hoard it, or use it to divide and conquer.

Alas, perhaps it is too late. There are grey whales off the coast of Israel, deadly tornadoes in Massachusetts, and floods created by mankind in North Dakota, new strains of toxic e. coli in bean sprouts...not to mention people committing crimes to gain access to health care in prison. We have made the bed we lay in as a species. So, by all means, sate yourself with Dasani, and piss on the sheets.