Grey

I like grey. I like that there's an 'e' and 'a' for it, although I think I am much more of an 'e' kind of guy. I like the quote, "it's not black or white, it's just shades of grey". In fact, while I have been recently accused of being way too grey, I truly believe that is what life has to offer. I have to believe that each moment is what we are offered; that yes, life is a series of moments, but they are generally unrelated, except within the boxes we create. We may choose to link our moments into grand love or grand tragedy, but the fact remains that everything lasts but an instant. It is true that we may be offered the opportunity to recreate things in the next moment, and sometimes it works, but in each new moment, we are covered with grey. As a group, we humans like continuity, along with its life partner, stability, and I would be a fool to exclude myself from that pattern, yet when I examine my life, and the choices I've made, I can look back and see the black and the white offered in each moment; there has to be black and white in every moment, and what do you get when black and white are mixed on the easel?. Grey, that's what!

Now the nun has always been a grey kind of girl. Very little color drapes her. She is, of course, full of color. She just chooses not to wear them. Yet somehow, that grey covering allows a man to see all the colors inside. And right now, she is choosing the clarity, and accompanying levity, that reside in black and white. My grey is just too hard, so I can't really blame her. My life is fucked up. And right now, I want her to find the stillness, in whatever color it inhabits.

Anyway, it's tough to tell anything about a moment when you look at the grey of it. Actually, it's not exactly tough, it more like indecisive, or undecidable. It's not easy to judge grey. It's the anti-judgement color; it presents the moment without judgement, and somehow, that helps a person, or at least me, to enter each moment gut-influenced, intuition-enhanced, truth-overflowing.

I am at a moment in my life where black and white might bring clarity and direction, but they keep blending to grey. The other good thing about grey is that it offers no outcome, and while, given my current circumstances, you may not think that is a good thing...but it is. There are lots of outcomes on the horizon. Some good, some bad. The world works. The universe provides. It all right there in the grey dawn, the birth of new days. You just need to look, and grey just doesn't hurt the eyes.