Evolution---Part Deux

"The most singular difference between happiness and joy is that happiness is a solid and joy a liquid"---JD Salinger

Epiphanies often come on the heels of sadness, but that is not the case in this instance; and while today's particular revelation resulted from an examination of the failures of my life, it resided not long in the house of pain, but rather brought a joy of clarity for me, heretofore unseen.

It seems to me that the most basic failure of humanity is that we have chosen the solidity of happiness over the liquidity of joy; that we have created an image of happiness that is contradictory to actually attaining it is a secondary problem. While we embrace joy in singular, vivid moments, such as the birth of a child, or an intensely explosive orgasm, we have either never seen, or lost sight of, the fact that joy resides in a much bigger place than the insular lives we choose to live.

In my last post, I asked a simple question regarding the aspirations of humankind as a species, and while I had previously thought that our evolutionary misstep had occurred genetically, it has now been revealed as a conscious choice.

Most of you who read this blog, understand that my thoughts are often scattered, so today I am throwing you this bone, the grandest of generalizations, in an effort to appease the more linear among you.

The self-imposed path of humankind has always had, at its core, the creation of suffering, and the eradication of joy.

Of course, it all begins with that little slut, Eve. God, in a pique of delirium, told her she couldn't eat from the tree, and Eve, acting in her most 'created in his/her image' persona, went straight for holy forbidden, thirsting for the hidden joy of god's gift withheld. So, in a sense, she became the first aspirant, momentarily the first ascendant, and the first victim of his vengeful nature, banished to the commonplace suffering outside Eden. Of course, this whole story was written by a lonely, bitter man, seeking his own acquisition in the confines of creating justifying, religious dogma.

What choice did she then have? She was firmly told to be 'fruitful and multiply', directed to plant the seed for humankind. So she started fucking like the proverbial rabbit, begot Cain and Abel, and countless illegitimate children, and here we are; the descendants of a woman reduced to the joy of sex.

If this whole 'created in his self image' thing contains even a kernel of truth, then god must be one fucked up immortal; or just stupid. Because it seems to me that if, as a species, we represent the maker, then he must be one suffering and sufferable bastard. To have given us the capacity to wrap in love, and simultaneously withhold the joy and knowledge of it, seems an act of the utmost vindictiveness. He gave us the suffering, never allowing us to see that joy is standing right alongside.

Make no mistake, dear reader, that suffering alone has led us down this path we are on; this path of acquisition, this path of detachment from the whole. With the total package withheld, we were only left with the choice to suffer alone, to insulate, and to make our lives individually 'full'; full of shit, as it turns out. God, by withholding the total package, left us a path rife with the sins he forbids us to commit, especially greed and avarice...and coveting your neighbor's wife. We have adopted the path where suffering is only overcome by acquiring individual wealth, and we live our lives shrinking our worlds, smaller and smaller, protected under the false cloak of security. And then we discover, too late, that the smaller world doesn't satisfy our thirst to simply find joy. It only separates us from what we desire. Hence, we divorce by the millions, or simply seek enlightenment in a strange piece of ass, preferably younger than the first choices, always looking for Eve, before the banishment.

I'm not saying that altruism and kindness do not exist. They most certainly do. But to deny that they exist alongside the motivation to protect and secure one's own security and advantage is ludicrous. We give because we can deduct it, thereby protecting what we have acquired...protecting our false sense of happiness and security. Of course, we also get a momentary glimpse of joy when we give, but that soon fades black...and back into the expeditious and mundane. We need to learn that joy only exists when we share it, when we all live for it, when we all take a bite of the apple. The apple belongs to all of us, to the patently stupid and the arrogantly intelligent, to the haves, and the have nots, to the successes, to the failures...to those who will savor it, and to those who are unable to taste. Joy is out there, people. It cannot be found inside. It can only be found if we are inside it. God had it backwards.