Discovery

Homelessness isn't all it's cracked up to be, but it does offer opportunities to discover things that were previously unlikely. For instance, I discovered that I am reluctant to apologize for things that have nothing to do with me; except that I have inadvertently burdened someone close to me with a lifelong regret. The question that arose from the experience? Am I responsible for others' perceptions of my actions or inactions? The answer is yes...although I do need to be made aware of it. It would appear that somone else's dream was affected deeply by their perception that I didn't do the right thing. Honestly, it is my recollection that I did do the right thing, but perhaps, at age 15, I wasn't sure what the right thing was, or maybe, I didn't sufficiently offer a full explanation of my actions. Bottom line--I'm not sure--my long term memory is not detailed enough. Not sure my brain is.

But more importantly, I discovered that the State of Vermont finds it necessary to dye its public toilet water, at least in the rest areas on their highways. I found a great deal of comfort from their explanation, which I read while peeing. It read, and I paraphrase..."Why is the water in this toilet dyed?(a lovely deep blue, the color of glacial lakes fresh after the onset of spring thaw). It is to let you know that the water in this toilet is non-potable." Now I may not have a place to live, but due to the kindness of family and friend alike, I do at least have a roof over my head. And certainly, I have not been reduced to drinking water from toilets. In fact, I don't need to use toilet water for anything...cooking soft boiled eggs...washing up...brushing my teeth...and, even if I did, I do believe that I would seek out toilet water in warmer climes. Three feet of snow and single digit temperatures simply conflict with the act of drinking from commodes, at least in my humble opinion.

There are other benefits to being homeless. For instance, if it indeed is true that ejaculation saps the body and spirit of vital energy (the life force, so to speak), then clearly I am more energetically charged, as my access to both flesh and porn have been severely reduced. And, jeezum crow, the coffee has been much better, and I even learned how to brew it in a french press. All in all, things are ok.

So, as spring approaches, I do hope it brings you all refreshing moist and warm, and all the colors of blooms. It is the perfect time of year for starting fresh.